


Dive

by 17daysgreys



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 23:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12046434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17daysgreys/pseuds/17daysgreys
Summary: Set after the season 13 finale, we find April Kepner coming to grips with the loss of Jackson. She thinks he's moved on with his life, so now she's making the leap to do so herself. Inspired by Ed Sheeran's songs 'Happier' and 'Dive', we find that maybe Jackson hasn't moved on just yet. Follow this Japril fic, with our favorites, Cristina, Meredith, Derek, and others at SGMW.





	Dive

A/N: Hi everyone, this is a post season 13 finale fic, following Ed Sheeran’s song Happier. I hope you enjoy this one because it’s taken a lot of time to get it together, please take time to review it and I hope you all have a great day! –R. 

April 

Have you ever felt small? It’s an easy thing to think you have, but in reality many people don’t understand the magnitude of that feeling. You feel like everyone is talking over you, everyone is living their lives, moving on without you, and you’re just standing there letting the fire burn through your skin. There are many bad feelings in the world; many that make you feel like less of a person. They make you feel weak, sad, and disdainful; but feeling small is like feeling you’ve lost a part of yourself and you’re never going to be able to get it back. I’ve felt small before, I’ve felt all of its evil rushing through my veins and I refuse to let myself feel that way again and when I saw him look at her, I knew. I knew that I was done feeling inadequate. Done feeling like I’m the evil stepsister in this whole scenario. I apologized until I was blue in the face and he never, truly, accepted it. So, I guess I need to move on.  
“Catherine,” I said through the phone, “I’ll take the position in Chicago.”  
“That’s great baby,” she replied through the other line, “Have you talked to Jackson about it, I know you and him have to arrange things with Harriet.”  
“No, I haven’t. I’m assuming he and I will just continue with the agreement we had before we moved in with one another. Hopefully, he’ll be okay with that.”  
“Wonderful. I’ll have my assistant send over the paperwork.”  
“Good. I look forward to receiving it,” April answered pleasantly.  
“You’re going to make such a fantastic head of trauma, I knew you could do it April.”  
“Thank you Catherine.”  
“I’ll see you in a week, is that enough time to get everything in order?”  
“Plenty. I’ll see you next Thursday morning, I already have my flight booked.”  
“Do you need me to send my driver?” Catherine asked.  
“No, I’ll just take a cab.”  
“Nonsense. You’ll take our driver, end of discussion,” insisted Catherine. April didn’t want to argue, so she obliged to Catherine’s insistence. Now, the only difficult part that remained was telling Jackson. She had already found an apartment, had some of her old things from storage shipped, and issued her resignation to Grey Sloan, which she had e-mailed just as she called Catherine. Now, the only piece left to this insanely delicate puzzle was telling her ex-husband that she planned to move across country and take their daughter with her. She thought things would be different after Montana, that they were finally getting somewhere in their relationship, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was becoming more than friends with Maggie and she had too much pride to sit around and be witness to that. So, she decided to leave, it was the best thing for her.  
April Kepner was never a prideful person, growing up on a farm in Moline, Ohio she considered herself to be as humble as they came. Her parents were working folk, her mom a teacher and her dad a farmer, so they raised her to be right and just, which meant they taught her not to take crap from anyone. It took her a long time to learn how to do that, but Jordan helped her become stronger, a fighter. So, yes she did have a bit of pride in the fact that she refused to stay and watch her husband fall in love with someone else. Watch him lock eyes and look at a new woman the way he used to look at her, the sheer thought of that breaks her heart.  
“Okay, we have so much to get done today,” April says to herself as she grabs her suitcase off the top shelf of the closet. She had planned to hire a moving company to ship the rest of her stuff to Chicago once she got settled into her apartment, but for now she was packing a small suitcase of only her and Harriett’s essentials. The two of them had moved out a few weeks ago, much to Jackson’s disagreement.  
Flashback  
April had been on a high since Montana, she didn’t think she could ever be that happy again and with Jackson, nonetheless. He had respected her in that surgery, something he had failed to do for months at Grey Sloan, and she felt seen by him. And God did it feel good. It felt like a drug that she couldn’t get enough of, and she didn’t realize how much she had missed him and needed him.  
“April,” he started, “Why is my mother calling me about head of trauma positions for you?”  
“Your mother isn’t supposed to be calling you about that, don’t worry about it Jackson,” she tried to skirt around the subject. She had been applying to head of trauma departments all over the country just to dip her toe in the water, and if something came up that was worth taking she would, but she hadn’t made a definite decision.  
He looked her square in the eyes, “Are you actually thinking about leaving?” He looked distressed and pained, he didn’t want her to go, but he didn’t know how to tell her that.  
“Jackson, I haven’t been given any offers yet. I’m just looking, don’t worry about it.”  
“April, you’re considering moving halfway across the country. I am going to be worried about it. Besides what about Harriett?”  
“She’ll come with me, like we originally planned. I get the school year and you get the summer.”  
“I’m not giving up my daughter. April, you have a career here, you can find another job in Seattle,” he suggested.  
“There isn’t the same opportunity here as New York or Boston and you know it, Jackson. I’m not making this decision lightly, so please don’t think that I am. You and Harriett are the only ones I’m considering, I need you to know that.”  
“I understand that, but April can’t you see where I’m coming from. I mean I’ve spent the first year of my daughter’s life seeing her every single day. Waking up with her, changing her diapers, feeding her that nasty organic baby food you insist we buy. I don’t want to stop doing what we’re doing.”  
“Jackson, do you like what we’re doing because you’re doing it with me and we’re being a family for Harriett or because you like being with our daughter.”  
“What kind of a question was that?” He yelled.  
“Do you want anything to do with me, romantically? Or are you in love with the idea of me?”  
“I,” he stuttered, “I’m not sure.”  
“Jackson,” she paused, not knowing how to say this without hurting his feelings, which was the last thing she wanted, “I think it’s time for me to move out. That way, if I get a position elsewhere we can have Harriett better transitioned.”  
“Where would you stay?”  
“My old place. I never stopped the lease, plus all my furniture is still there. I could be out by the weekend.”  
He didn’t know what to say, he felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and that she had stomped on it, “That soon?” he inquired, “Really that soon?” he whispered under his breath.  
“Is there anything for me there?” She looked at him, with heartbreak in her eyes. Here she was, right then and there letting him choose her once and for all. She loved him, she truly did. She probably would never find another man that would make her feel like he used to, and that made her not want to give up on their relationship. But there was only so much one person could reasonably take, and he was not giving. She thought things had changed after Montana, she thought maybe he was willing to start again. However, he ignored her for weeks at work, skirted around the subject whenever she mentioned it at home, and he had been flirting with Maggie. She had enough self-respect to know when to bow out of the race for Jackson Avery’s heart, and this unfortunately was the time to do so.  
“Of course there is, April,” he began, “There’s Harriett, your friends, the hospital,” he listed off.  
“But there isn’t you,” she softly said.  
“I never said that, April,” he angrily responded, “Why do you do this? Why do you always assume you know how I feel about you?”  
“Jackson, what am I supposed to think? We haven’t talked in weeks about anything besides Harriett, work, and whatever’s on T.V.”  
“What do you want me to say? What do you so desperately need to talk about?” He spat.  
“I can’t believe you just said that, God you’re so infuriating sometimes, Jackson.”  
“Seriously April, what do you want to talk about?”  
She weighed her options, she could either tell him that she wanted to talk about Montana and ask what it meant to him. Or, she could tell him nothing and hope he figures it out on his own. She pondered for a few seconds before replying, “No, Jackson there’s nothing I need to talk about. I’m going to get my stuff out tonight and you can keep Harriett for the night. I really think it’s best if I separate myself from you, because I can’t handle this anymore. I’m sorry,” she whispered, if she would have been any louder he would have been able to hear the tears in her voice. She turned around and left a bewildered Jackson staring at her fiery red curls walk away from him, completely dumbfounded by how he had landed himself in this situation again, with a broken heart.  
But he did nothing to stop her from leaving. He didn’t call out her name, he didn’t tell her what he knew she wanted to hear. He wasn’t a great man, but he was an honest one and he wouldn’t try to lead her on. He loved April Kepner, he loved everything about her right down to the ridiculous way she alphabetized the fridge, but he couldn’t get past the fact that he didn’t trust her. So yes, he was deeply and madly in love with April, but he couldn’t trust her not to leave him again. Just as she always did, so he let her walk away, he had gotten pretty used to it.  
End Flashback  
April was packing her bag, putting in some jeans and shirts as well as her hair styling products. Jackson was so surprised when he saw her natural hair when she and him were living in Meredith’s frat house; he made fun of her for a week over it. But that was then and this is now, so she quietly packed up her straightener and curling iron and put them in her suitcase.  
She finished packing and got ready for work; she had picked up an extra shift in the E.R. for the night. She was a tad apprehensive about leaving Grey Sloan Memorial; it had become her home away from home. But, she hadn’t come to the decision to leave lightly, it took a lot of analyzing, pro and con list making, and some prayer. However, a major part of life is growth and she had done all the growing she was going to do in Seattle. She never knew how much she could grow until she had gone to Jordan and seen things first hand. Been put in situations where the only thing that mattered was saving the soldier’s life and nothing else. The adrenaline rush she received when she was operating with minimal supplies, barely any lights, and the constant fear of an attack looming underneath the surface was addicting and she craved it so much when she came back to Seattle. Quite frankly, if she hadn’t gotten pregnant she would have gone back there, it was her happy place; it was the place that allowed her to breathe again.  
“Kepner,” Owen greeted her, “Can I talk to you please?” April took a deep breath; she knew exactly what he was talking about. He had received her resignation, which meant Jackson had received it to. She hoped that he wasn’t still in and that he had taken Harriett home for the evening, because she didn’t want to deal with him. She didn’t have the energy.  
“Yes chief,” she smiled, “What do you want to talk about?”  
“You’re leaving us, aren’t you Kepner?”  
“I am,” she struggled, “But Chief, it’s not because I’m not grateful for everything you’ve done for me and that you’ve taught me. I mean, I wouldn’t even be half the surgeon I am if it weren’t for you and you don’t know how much your mentorship has meant for me. Everything you’ve done for me, I can’t begin to thank you enough, and I’m sorry that I’m leaving. If I didn’t have to go, I wouldn’t, but things are just so, well you know? They’re just so stagnant here,” she rambled.  
“April, April,” Owen soothed her as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Breathe. It’s okay. Birds are supposed to fly the nest, and you’re flying the nest. I couldn’t be more proud of you.”  
“Really?” she croaked, trying to hold back her tears.  
“Really,” he assured, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you. Honestly, I’m sure the entire hospital is going to miss you. You’re something special, April.”  
“Thank you,” she genuinely replied, “Thank you so much.” She leaned in for a hug and felt quite happy. Owen was one of the people she feared telling, but he had taken it surprisingly well. Maybe everyone else would too.  
“Okay, now go and change into your scrubs and enjoy your second to last day in the pit,” he instructed.  
“Yes, sir,” she smiled as she head off to the Attending’s lounge to change into her scrubs.  
She hadn’t expected to see anyone in the lounge, seeing as it was 7:00 p.m. and most of her colleagues would bolt out of the hospital at 5:00 p.m., however, there were always the junkies who stayed well past the recommended forty hours a week.  
“Kepner,” Alex acknowledged.  
“Alex,” she replied back, “What’s got you here so late?”  
“A kid, came in earlier ate monopoly pieces. So I’m just waiting it out to see if he passes them or if he’ll need surgery.”  
“You know you can have an intern do that right?”  
“Oh I am. I’m an attending now, I no longer scour through poop.”  
“So, you’re just waiting in here until your patient poops or doesn’t poop out monopoly pieces, instead of going home? You’re honestly a strange one, Alex,” she laughed, “I’m gonna miss that.” She didn’t realize what she had just said, but it didn’t go past Alex’s ears, he immediately popped up from his seat and looked at her with confusion.  
“What do you mean, you’re gonna miss that? Are you leaving, April?”  
“Crap,” she muttered under her breath, “Yeah, I gave Owen my letter this morning, I’m leaving in a week.”  
“Damn,” he said, “Where are you going?”  
“Chicago. I’m going to be the head of trauma at the Northwestern Memorial Hosptial and they’re letting me run a rescue protocol throughout the Midwest, it really was an offer I couldn’t refuse,” she admitted.  
“That’s, that’s amazing, April. Congratulations.” He came and gave her a hug, something that he never did, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t going to miss April. She was annoying at first, so much so that when she got fired for forgetting to check that woman’s windpipe, he breathed a sigh of relief. But, April had a way of weaseling her way back into everyone’s life, whether they wanted her to or not, and she made other people like her. And Alex was grateful for this, for the fact that April Kepner did more than anyone on anything. She truly is an amazing woman, an amazing mother, and most of all a kick ass surgeon.  
“Thank you,” she beamed, “I really am going to miss you.”  
“Don’t make me get sappy,” he wiped a tear from his face, “ But I’m going to miss you too.”  
“Alex, are you crying?”  
“Shut up, April,” he scowled.  
“Oh my gosh, you were,” she laughed a bit, “Thank you Alex,” she said as she put her hands to her mouth.  
“So, how is Jackson taking this? I mean, you’re moving half way across the country?”  
“He doesn’t know yet,” she admitted.  
“Wait, you’ve quit your job and are planning on moving to a new city and you haven’t told the father of your child yet?”  
“He knew it was a possibility,” she defended herself.  
“A possibility and reality are two completely different things, April. He’s going to freak.”  
“Sort of why I’m avoiding telling him,” she said.  
“April,” Alex scolded like a big brother, “You know that’s not a good idea.”  
“Alex, I know I have to talk to him. I just don’t know how to, he and I haven’t been in a good place lately. I’ll find a time, I promise.”  
“I’d just tell him before he reads his e-mail and finds that he needs to hire a new attending trauma surgeon,” Alex warned.  
“He’s not in right now, so I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning when I pick up Harriett.”  
“April,” Alex stated, “He’s been in his office for the past half hour, his surgery ran late and he’s been catching up on paperwork.” April looked like she had just seen a ghost and she felt a sudden wave of nausea come over her. She looked at Alex with nothing but fear in her eyes.  
“No,” she gasped, “No, no, no.” She panicked, “I have to go and find him.”  
“He probably already knows, so just be prepared for that.”  
“If there is a God, he doesn’t know, not yet,” she exclaimed as she ran out of the attending’s lounge in search of her ex-husband. 

April was making her way towards Jackson’s office, when her pager rang, 911 in the E.R., it couldn’t have come at a worse time. So, instead of preventing him from reading the e-mail that told him in black and white that she was leaving for a position in Chicago, she had to go to the pit and save a life. She wasn’t complaining about that though, she loved the pit, she loved the rush of emergency surgery, but she was honestly going to need to have surgery from the heart failure she would encounter when the time to face Jackson comes. He’s going to be so disappointed in her, for not discussing it with him before she accepted the position, for putting their family in a less than ideal if not awkward postion, and most of all for making him find out via e-mail. She couldn’t explain to him that, that was never her intention, but an angry Jackson was never a rational one, so the odds of him being willing to listen were slim to none.  
“I’m here, where do you need me?” She asked Owen who was working on a patient.  
“You’re in trauma two,” he instructed, “Head on collision.”  
“Got it,” she replied.  
“All right what do we have?” she inquired.  
“Male, 49, driver in the head on collision. He’s been going in an out of consciousness, he has some tenderness so I think there’s some bleeding in his abdomen, and his femur is broken, it was sticking through the skin when he came in,” the intern explained.  
“Did you page ortho?”  
“Yes, they’re on their way.”  
“Also, page plastics for the bruising on his face, I want to make sure his nose isn’t broken. And Dr. Howards, could you get me an ultrasound machine too, I need to check his abdomen for free fluid.”  
A few minutes later April’s plastics and ortho consults were in her E.R. and much to her disappointment it was Jackson who answered her intern’s page.  
“Dr. Kepner,” he greeted her.  
“Dr. Avery,” she calmly replied.  
“What do you need me for?”  
“His face hit the air bag pretty hard on impact, so I wanted to see if you could check his nose to see if it’s broken?”  
“Sure,” he said, normally. Maybe he hadn’t read the e-mail, but she wasn’t holding her breath.  
Five minutes later and it was determined that her patient, Kevin Johanson had a broken nose, femur, and blood in his abdomen. Meaning, he needed to get to an O.R. and fast, if he was going to live.  
“Alright people, let’s move him up to the O.R.,” April told the rest of the room, as she grabbed the bed and started to gesture towards moving the patient.  
“I’ll do my surgery another time,” Jackson suggested, “I mean, it’s only a broken nose.”  
“Okay. But do you still want to scrub in, for old times sake?” She asked.  
“Why not?” He smiled.  
“Let’s go,” she yelled again and the team of surgeons made their way up to the O.R.  
She and Jackson were in the scrub room together; it had been so long since they had actually done a surgery together. Not since Montana, she missed it, truly. She also felt quite nostalgic over the fact that this probably was going to be the last time they scrub in with one another.  
“How long has it been?” he inquired.  
“Three months,” she replied.  
“No, it hasn’t been that long? Has it?”  
“Yeah,” she said, “It has been.”  
“Where does time go?”  
“Anywhere,” she laughed, “It just keeps moving and we can’t stop it.”  
“Next time it won’t take us three months to operate together, I promise you that.”  
“Yeah,” she nervously replied.  
“April?” he asked, concerned.  
“Let’s just get to this, it looks like Kevin’s ready.”  
The surgery was going well, April was in the zone, elbow deep in the patient’s abdomen while Jackson was holding the clamp mesmerized at how efficiently she worked. Man, did she know how to command an O.R. You wouldn’t know it, just looking at her, that she was the spitfire of all spitfires, causing him to smile under his surgical mask.  
“Dr. Avery, what’s got you so chipper?” Dr. Malone asked, he was the orthopedic surgeon fixing the patient’s femur, and new to Grey Sloan Memorial.  
“Nothing, just admiring Dr. Kepner’s work,” he explained.  
“You won’t be able to do that for long,” Dr. Carlson, the intern, added. April was shocked that he would spill the beans so effortlessly, like there was nothing to it. And if she weren’t elbow deep inside this man’s body cavity she would have taken her hands and strangled him. No, that’s much too harsh, she would have ran out of that O.R. faster than you can say your morning prayers, “Dr. Hunt told us about your promotion, congratulations Dr. Kepner.”  
“Uh, yeah, thank you, Dr. Carlson,” she awkwardly replied.  
“Dr. Carlson,” Jackson acknowledged, “What promotion did Dr. Kepner get. I’d love to hear about it.”  
“You don’t have to explain it to him, Dr. Carlson,” April warned.  
“No, please, Dr. Carlson, go ahead.” His eyes were locked on April’s pink, floral scrub cap because she refused to look up.  
“Okay?” He started, a bit confused as to why the room was beginning to fill with tension, “Dr. Hunt told us while we were waiting for Dr. Kepner in the E.R. that she was leaving in a week and that we should learn as much from her as we could while she’s still here.”  
“Leaving in a week, you don’t say, Dr. Carlson. Where could Dr. Kepner be going?”  
“Chicago,” she abrubtly answered, “I’m going to Chicago.”  
“You’re messing with me right? You are not going to move half way across the country, April come on be realistic.”  
“Jackson, this isn’t the time nor is it the place to talk about this. We can talk later.”  
“No, we’re going to talk about this now.”  
“Let me do my job, Jackson, and if you can’t do that you can get out of my O.R.”  
“Fine. Dr. Carlson, take over for me, I have better places to be,” he passed the clamp over to the overzealous intern, “Find me as soon as you’re done.”  
“You can count on it,” she gritted her teeth.

Jackson headed to his office, where he read his e-mails, the e-mails he had decided to put off until the morning because the only thing he wanted to do after the day he had was go home, turn on the basketball game, and see Harriett. But here he was, at 11:30 p.m. not doing any of those things; no he was in his office reading an e-mail that was sent from Owen to all the department heads regarding the fact that April was leaving. There was also another one, sent to him directly from H.R. about the situation, since he owned the hospital and all they liked to keep him in the loop regarding things like this.  
He stared at his computer screen, he kept reading it over and over, but he couldn’t will himself to believe it. Dr. April Kepner has accepted a position at Northwestern Medical Center as their new Head of Trauma and will be leaving one week from today. Certain things make a person want to punch something and this was certainly it. He rubbed his hand over his head frustratingly and sat like an idle bee waiting for April to be done with her surgery.  
A little while later, he heard a faint knock on the door. She looked the same, her hair was still the same red color, her nose still curved a bit at the bottom, and those lips looks as luxurious as ever he couldn’t help but gaze at them. But the woman standing in front of him; was unrecognizable. She wasn’t the April Kepner from their residency, the one who used to be his best friend. The person who helped him cope with the nightmares after losing their friends in the shooting. The friend who never judged him for being an Avery, who saw the potential in his skills regardless of his surgical pedigree. She had always been his biggest cheerleader, but he hadn’t always been hers.  
So, here he was, standing at a crossroads, staring at someone he used to love. It’s probably one of the hardest things someone has to do, letting go of someone who they’re still in love with.  
“Jackson,” she started, “You wanted to talk, so let’s talk.”  
“Yeah,” he gestured for her to take a seat.  
“First of all, I never wanted you to find out this way. I really was planning on telling you myself in the morning.”  
“Okay,” he sarcastically spat.  
“Jackson, come on. I respect you too much to do something like that to you.”  
“And me finding out in the O.R. that you’re moving across the country is any better?”  
“No,” she solemnly said.  
“Exactly. Plus, April, I’m not sure if you forgot but we have a child together and I’m not planning on moving to Chicago so how do you propose we settle that?”  
“Jackson, I know you’re angry with me, but please I didn’t come to this decision lightly. It was really difficult; knowing that if I did this, if I followed my career like everyone else has, that I’d be hurting you in the process. That’s the last thing I wanted.”  
“But it was guaranteed, April. You’re being so selfish.”  
“Don’t you dare say that,” she hissed, “Because I’m going after a position that I’ve worked my ass off for I’m being selfish? Tell that to all of the rescue teams that I’m going to run, tell that to all of the families that aren’t going to have to bury their loved ones because of me, tell that to the research team that I’m creating dedicated to treating post warzone injuries and training for medics in the field. I am going to make a difference in Chicago, one that I can’t make here. So, you don’t get to tell me I’m being selfish, when people are going to live because of me, and that is the least selfish thing a person can be.”  
He folded his hands in his lap, “You really want to go, don’t you?” He asked with a broken voice.  
“There’s nothing left for me here,” she admitted, “It’s time for me to move on.”  
“I don’t know what to say,” he laughed, “I mean I’ve seen you every single day for ten years, almost, and now you’re leaving. And it’s not like Jordan when I knew that you’d be back, this time you’re really leaving for good, aren’t you?”  
“Yeah, I think I am.”  
“Harriet, what are we going to do about Harriet?” He wiped the tears that were forming from his eyes.  
“I want to take her, like our agreement said. You can have summers and I have the school year.”  
“April, that’s not fair.”  
“I know, Jackson, but it’s the best I can do. You can come to Chicago any time you want and she can come visit you with your mom, or I can come back. I’m not trying to take her away from you. I want you in her life. I want her to know her father and what an amazing man he is and how much he loves her. That’s the hardest part about all of this, knowing that I may take that away from her.”  
“April,” he comforted her, “We can make this work.” He grabbed her hand; it had been so long since he had felt her bare skin against his.  
“Thank you,” she gasped. They stayed in silence for a few seconds, until April got up to leave.  
“Congratulations,” he said under his breath as she was heading at the door, but she was gone. 

Five days later and it was April’s last shift at the hospital, so the staff decided to throw her a goodbye party.  
“Kepner,” Meredith said, “Congratulations about your new job! Even if you had to use mine as a resume booster,” she joked.  
“Meredith, stop,” Derek warned, “Kepner’s a great surgeon and if you weren’t so stubborn she wouldn’t have had to step in for you.”  
“Thank you Dr. Shepherd, and thank you Meredith,” April replied, “It’s going to be hard not coming into work and seeing you guys everyday.”  
“We’re going to miss you April,” Meredith stated, “You are one of the greats.”  
April mingled around the room a bit more; she was a bit shocked at the turn out. She didn’t realize so many people from the hospital cared this much about her to see her off.  
“Keps,” Nathan yelled.  
“Nathan,” she exclaimed, “I thought you were in surgery.”  
“I pushed it back an hour, didn’t want to miss the biggest party of the year.”  
“Come here,” she laughed as she pulled her army buddy in for a hug.  
“You’ve really done it, haven’t you?”  
“What’s that?”  
“Accomplished your dream, running the rescue protocol program was all you could talk about in Jordan. Plus the work you’re planning on doing with the vets, you’re going to be God damn superwoman in Chicago.”  
“I am aren’t I?”  
“Dr. April Kepner, M.D. and superhero. I can see it now, it’s going to go big; they’ll make it into a trilogy. But remember when you sell the rights to your story make sure it’s a good studio who gonna hire a natural redhead,” he teased.  
“Nathan, stop it,” she laughed.  
“But seriously, Keps. I’m going to miss you. You’re the reason I came to this place, I can’t believe you’re leaving it.”  
“I’ll be back, you know, this is my home.”  
“You better be,” he warned.”  
“Scout’s honor.”  
“You were never a scout.”  
“Excuse me? I’ll have you know I was a girl scout for ten years.”  
“Oh really? I’d pay to see that.”  
“Do you want me to have my mom send you a picture of my vests and my award for highest cookie sales of my entire troop?”  
“No, no. I believe you.”  
“Good.” 

 

Jackson didn’t know whether he wanted to go in and tell April goodbye. They hadn’t spoken much since she told him about Chicago in his office a few nights ago. He brought over Harriett’s essentials from his place, but other than that there was silence between them. He didn’t know how to talk to her, how to approach the subject. He knew that if he asked her not to go, then she’d probably stay, but for what? For him? Of course he wanted her to stay, but did he want her to stay for the right reasons?  
“Jackson? What are you doing out here?” Maggie wondered.  
“Nothing,” he awkwardly responded.  
“Are you going to go in?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“I don’t need to bother you with my problems, you’ve got enough on your plate.”  
“There’s always room for more, come on, let me hear them.”  
“April’s leaving and I don’t know how I feel about that.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“She needs to go, I know she does. Every rational part of me is telling me to push her because this is the opportunity of a lifetime. This is everything that she’s good at, lists, organizing, running the E.R. this job is what she was made to do. But, I can’t help but think that her job here is also what she was made to do.”  
“Growth is a good thing, it’s a good thing for her that’s she going, right?” Maggie inquired.  
“No, I know it is, but I don’t want her to leave. How do I tell her? She’ll just think I’m selfish, that I’m trying to take this opportunity away from her.”  
“It’s April, I’m sure she’ll understand and want to listen to your concerns.”  
“It’s not a concern, Maggie,” he looked at her intently, “I’m still in love with her.” Maggie didn’t know what to do with this information; the only thing she could think of was April telling her that Jackson had feelings for her. And the defeat she saw in April’s eyes, those weren’t eyes that were no longer in love, those were eyes that were choosing to let the person they love go because they loved them that much.  
“Tell her,” Maggie instructed.  
“It’s too late. She’s leaving tomorrow morning. It’s too late.”  
“Weren’t you the one who stood up at her wedding? And now you’re telling me that it’s too late?”  
“That was a long time ago.”  
“Are you in love with her as much now as you were then?”  
“I don’t know; that’s the problem. You know, she and I have been through so much. We’re not those people anymore.”  
“Jackson,” she looked at her half brother, “She’s still willing to fight for you two if you tell her that you are. The day of the fire, I didn’t see a woman who no longer cared, I saw someone who is still very much in love with you. But you keep giving her mixed signals. So, decide, is she what you want? Is she who you truly want to be with?”  
“She’s the love of my life, I don’t doubt that for a minute. But, I have to let her go,” he said slowly, not wanting the words to leave his lips, and as soon as they did Maggie immediately grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. They never went into April’s goodbye party, the two of them stood in the hallway, right in view of April. There were a myriad of reasons why she was going to Chicago, but none were more important than the fact that Jackson had fallen in love with someone else and she refused to stay in Seattle to have a front row seat to their budding romance.


End file.
